Fear is the Mind Killer
Claire Tocher, activpayroll
I was saying to Holly, now that Thor has obviously decided that travel is going to stop him being here, I feel like I’m going to change the tone because we’re all talking about having nice canapes and having nice network, and I’m going to come out and say: “Fear is the mind killer,” which is a bit dramatic. And yeah, as Holly mentioned, I do have this kind of whole other life that has come through sport and powerlifting, and particularly in strength sports. And when I was thinking about what I was going to share with this particular group, I was thinking about potential and mindset and growth and development and the things that we all take really seriously in our careers. I can’t take credit for the quote. If you don’t know the quote, it comes from the Litany of Fear, which is in Frank Herbert’s Dune, or Zendaya’s film if you prefer your movies.
And it’s kind of a cult quote now, I think, in sports psychology and in sports coaching, and particularly, actually, it’s got a bit of a meme value now in strength sports. Powerlifting and strength sports are really individual activities. And one of the things that’s really important is mindset, almost as much as your physical strength. I think that’s really important when I’m thinking about our people and people with potential and how we bring that out of them and how we can empower people to have a go at things. A couple of years ago, I had come back from something of an injury. I wish it was a cool one. I wish I could tell you it was some really amazing recovery story. It was kind of just a sore knee, but however, there was a long process of recovery, and I was signed up for my kind of redemption competition back on the platform for the first time in 18 months.
And at this point, I’d done a whole bunch of competitions, I’d done some internationals, had some amazing opportunities, and I got to that competition ready to show everybody that I was back and ready for the next phase of my career. And here I was in front of 20 people in Lochgelly in Fife and I absolutely choked so hard. Completely bombed out of that competition. If you ask any powerlifter, the worst idea, the worst possible outcome, is bombing out of a competition. It’s the thing you fear the most. It’s the nerves that are in your head the minute you step onto that platform. And I sort of thought after seven years and 20 odd competitions, that was probably never going to happen to me, but it totally did. And I sort of walked off of the platform really dazed and confused as to what had happened.
And as I think back to what did happen, certainly in my early days, I, of course, was terrified. Starting in powerlifting as a female. Strength sports is not really known to be a safe space for women. It’s much better now, as Holly mentioned. But I was terrified of that first competition, going up onto that platform, standing in front of a group of people, having the audacity to think that I could compete with people who I just completely looked up to and had done for quite some time. But that fear was actually quite addictive in the early days. And I sort of really embraced it. And every time there was a new opportunity to compete, to go to a British, to go to an international, I was like, “Yeah, sign me up. A hundred percent.” And it built this really amazing positive momentum in my life, and it carried over into everything, not just in my sport.
And what happened with my injury was the fear became really different, and the mindset completely changed. And it wasn’t really obvious. It sort of was quite insidious, actually. It sort of snuck in. The rehab’s going to be painful. What if it hurts? What if you hurt it again? What if that’s the best you’re ever going to be? What if you’ve never going to compete again? What if that is the last time you’re going to pull a 200-kilo deadlift? This is it for you. And I didn’t notice it at the time, but it really affected my mindset. And by the time I walked onto that platform on Lochgelly, the outcome was fully manifested. It was never going to be any different. I was always going to end up there. And as I walked off the platform, my coach came running over to me looking actually quite traumatized, being like, “What the hell just happened here? I don’t understand.”
And as I walked off, he says, “Well, how are you feeling?” And I actually said to him, “I feel completely fine.” Was that it? Is that the thing I’ve been so scared of this whole time? And what’s the worst that’s possibly happened? I’ll walk off, I’ll train tomorrow, I’ll do another competition in a month. And it completely changed how I felt about my mindset and about fear. And actually, it’s such a powerful tool for the positive. If you channel it, and you embrace it, and you accept it, don’t try and be fearless or pretend it doesn’t exist. Just let it happen. And it’s the same for us in our careers.
It’s saying yes to job opportunities. It’s encouraging junior employees who are saying, “Oh, I don’t think I’m ready. I don’t think I can do that job. I can’t move into another career path.” Of course, you can, and it’s scary and that’s exactly why you should do it. It’s exactly why I said yes to coming and doing this particular speech. When they said, “Do you want to come and speak in front of half of the Aberdeen HR community?” I said, “Well, that sounds absolutely terrifying. And a thousand percent yes, I will come and take part.” So yeah, that is my presentation. Thank you so much, and thank you for having me.
Watch Claire delivering her session over on Vimeo >>> DisruptHR Aberdeen 2.0 – April 24 2025 on Vimeo
