Can You Really Have It All? Juggling Career, Family and Sanity
Paula Smith, Aker Solutions
Can you have it all is what I’m going to talk about and work-life balance, I guess, a topic that’s evolved over the years, and particularly in the past few years, a huge change and shift when we were faced with COVID, opening up a whole new different way of working and approach to flexibility from home working and driving people’s decisions on company and career choices.
So life I feel is often like a three-ring circus, balancing career, family, personal wellbeing and socialising. It can be an act worthy of a standing ovation. Some believe with careful planning, strong support networks and a large sprinkle of luck, it’s actually possible to thrive in all areas. Others would argue that sacrifices are inevitable and trying to have all will just lead to exhaustion and burnout. This next five minutes, which is a massive challenge for me to talk quick and keep it in five minutes, slides, nothing to do, I would say it’s just a pictorial cheat, but are we really chasing an impossible dream or can we master the art of balance without completely losing our minds?
So I’m sure this will resonate with many of you in the room, but in some capacity we are all juggling our day-to-day activities, spinning the plates from getting up in the morning, we drop the kids off at school shouting, “Get your shoes on,” like a three star general. You drop them off, you go to the office, you enter the meeting room and you’re like, “Good morning” like you’ve had some sort of personality transplant and that calm, here I am delivering a presentation. You rush out of the meeting, you’re going to pick the school kids up. You’re driving like a Formula One driver so as not to be that last mum at the school gates waiting for them. And then once you pick the kids up, you shoehorn in a workout if you’re lucky. You make the dinner and then you pick up any emails that you’ve missed whilst doing all of this as well. And then it’s time to go to bed and ready to start all again next day.
But topped with a haze of perimenopausal brain fog that will have you forgetting what’s even in the diary next day. So yes, a few nods in the room. The struggle is real. That is my life. So in terms of authenticity, that is a typical day for me. I’ve also recently rolled in some business travel, which has me away quite a lot. I’m often faced with that tilty head of sympathetic, “I just don’t know how you do it.” And it’s followed by feelings of guilt, self-doubt, convincing yourself that you’ve got this, you’re managing this, that you are spinning all these plates to make your kids independent and you’re setting a good example and you’re nailing it at work, but keeping those plates spinning is really, really hard.
So when I’m often faced with that question, my answer is, “Neither do I,” and genuinely don’t. If I did, I really wish I knew of a magic formula that would be to work in perfect harmony because if I did know what that magic formula was, I wouldn’t be experiencing the reality of it. I would be on a beach experiencing early retirement while selling it in a bottle. But more seriously, I guess the reality facts are alarming. And again, just most recently in the UK, putting pressure on ourselves to have it all has got some remarkable stats from the Mental Health UK that 31% of all UK employees feel they do not have a good work-life balance. 50% of all employees actually switched jobs in 2024, and they did so to achieve a better work-life balance. And, most alarmingly, 65% of UK workers have experienced symptoms of burnout only since September 2024.
So it is an issue and we do put a hell of a lot of pressure on ourselves as a nation. So what can we do to have it all? So obvious things here, and not rocket science, but time management prioritization. With effective planning, individuals can allocate quality time to both career and family. Supporting mechanisms. So I always think shared responsibilities, help from extended families, having a good network around you, but workplace flexibility is also helpful for sustainable routines.
Technology and remote working. So I do a global role and remote work a lot and it’s never been so apparent that it actually does help with the work-life balance. And again, some organizations pushing that data-driven organization that does help. And modern work cultures, again, we see many people coming for interviews asking about flexible working policies and do you have one, like parental leave and wellness programs and hybrid work options.
So what stops us having it all? And is it without sacrifices? I believe compromises are inevitable. So when excelling in one area, you’re absolutely at the cost of another. Long work hours reduces family time or personal relaxation. Something has to give. Burnout and over commitment, we’ve heard the stats. They are alarming but reality of overworking can lead to health issues. And society’s expectations as a nation, the workplace norms, gender rules and financial constraints all have this, having it all make a difficult goal. And then unexpected life events. So again, it doesn’t matter how much planning I do, I set my week out and I think I’m nailing it. On a Sunday night, I got it all planned, but unforeseen circumstances. This week a sick child, you’ve got family emergencies, everything will derail and throw off your perfect plan.
So there is no real definition of having it all. When we talk about it, I’ve talked about a career, family, but having it all is different. The definition of that is different for everybody in this room, depending their job, their lifestyle, their relationships, family, et cetera. But I believe at the end of the day, juggling career goals and family life is less about chasing some sparkly Instagram idealistic, but more about figuring out what actually makes you all fulfilled. Maybe it’s not about having the perfect life but more about having enough coffee and sanity to actually survive it. But instead of aiming for our mythical balance where everything is just flawless, maybe the trick is to prioritize what really matters. Cut ourselves some slack and remember that perfection is just a button and a setting on your washing machine. And whether or not you’ve got it all is again totally personal. And, honestly, if you’ve remembered to feed the kids today and answer a few emails, you’re already crushing life.
Watch Paula deliver her session over on Vimeo >>>>> DisruptHR Aberdeen 2.0 – April 24 2025 on Vimeo
