We Don’t Need Another Hero – We Need Inclusive Leaders
Mark Freed, Men For Inclusion
So, male allies. We often think about male allies and we think about them as supporting women at work, including them in existing male spaces, inviting them to the golf day, explaining the offside rule, helping them fit into my world. But is inclusion about helping women adapt to male-dominated cultures, or should it be about changing the culture itself?
Being excluded from informal networks makes it harder for women to speak up in meetings, get their ideas heard, or have their contributions taken seriously. We’ve all seen it, women interrupted mid-sentence, or having their ideas only recognized when they’re repeated by a man.
The well-meaning response, “Encourage women to speak up, speak louder, take up more space, act more confidently.” In short, behave more like one of the boys. But again, should we be changing women or should we be changing the environment? If the meeting structure rewards the loudest voices, let’s fix the meeting, not the people in it.
Too often women are assigned admin tasks, note-taking and organizing, while their male colleagues get those career-enhancing projects. Women are too often judged on past performance, not potential, and they’re asked to prove their competence again and again in ways that men just aren’t.
This isn’t about isolated incidents either. It’s about a cumulative effect. We call it the lived experience gap. And it builds powerful, often invisible barriers. And when women do succeed, they’re often told it’s only to hit diversity targets, not because of their amazing talent or hard work.
So what’s the cost? How much are we losing in innovation, productivity, and resilience by limiting half of the population? And even with the best intentions, some diversity strategies have unintentionally fueled this backlash, the anti-woke voices, to full-blown resistance, the Trumps and the Tates.
But let’s be clear, it’s not women or underrepresented groups we need to fix. What we need is more inclusive leadership. People focused on changing the culture, not the individuals. Inclusive leaders build relationships across their whole team, not just those who they feel familiar with, they play golf with, or who support the same football team.
Inclusive leaders create affinity through small everyday moments. A chat in the hallway, a “hello,” a “how are you? Let’s have a coffee.” A shared laugh. Let’s get to know everybody in our team. And when voices are not being heard, inclusive leaders don’t ask people to shout louder. They change the way they run the meeting.
Inclusive leadership means knowing all your people. Not just names an organization chart, but as individuals with ambitions, strengths and challenges. It means distributing opportunities based on merit, not assumptions tied to gender, race or background, or favoritism.
And when we lead inclusively, we unlock innovation. We manage risk more effectively. We perform so much better, we go stronger, and yes, more profitable businesses. Because inclusive leadership is the great unlock.
And here’s the final point, and maybe the point that answers some of Morag’s questions, inclusive cultures don’t just benefit women or minority groups. They benefit men, too. Men deserve to be free from outdated stereotypes, the pressure to be tough, competitive and emotionless. They deserve workplaces where they can bring themselves to work as well. Releasing themselves from the straitjacket of complying with outdated male stereotypes.
This isn’t about heroes or fixing others. It’s about all of us, all of us, men and women together building a workplace and a better society. So let’s stop waiting for heroes, let’s stop asking for allies, and let’s grow inclusive leadership now and together. Because if not now, then when? And if not all of us together then who is going to do this?
Watch the video of Mark delivering his session over on Vimeo >>>> DisruptHR Glasgow 6.0 – June 19 2025 on Vimeo
